What about my
aging parents?
What should
I do about them?
This is one of the toughest issues to face - and with no
real answer except the one that only you can provide.
While living overseas both of my parents died (about
four years apart). I wasn't able to be present at
exactly the time of death, for either one of them. I
think they would have liked that and I truly regret not
being there.
Surely, if your parents are getting quite old, you are
aware that this may come about. But usually, we are not
able to time these things, and most parents don't or
wouldn't want you to sit a "death watch" - at least not
for an extended period of time.
As
I knew this would come up, I had planned to live
overseas for the rest of my life, I made a real effort
to go home more often, to write and call my parents more
than I ever had, and to let them know that I loved them.
I told them that I loved them regularly and
purposefully. I didn't want to regret that I had
not done all these things, once they were gone. I
am glad I did.
Both of my parents were ill for extended periods of time
before their passing. The only way I could really have
been there would have been to quit my job and move back
home - for years. I think they understood my choice to
not do so. But, it still hurts when you are not there
at the right moment.
If
you plan on staying overseas a long time, and your
parents are still alive, straighten things out with
them. Get your relationship on a sound footing, so you
won't regret not having done so. Make an extra effort
to let them know you love them and settle any
outstanding issues from childhood. It's worth the peace
it will bring you later.
Part of living a life overseas is
growing up and getting handle on things from the past.
Be an adult, do the right thing about your parents.
You'll be very glad that you did.
